Gratitude.

Gratitude is such a wonderful thing. I love stopping and recognizing all that is good in my life. I love keeping track of such things. I also love realizing that once I start naming one or two things that I am grateful for I am swarmed by the realization that I have SO MUCH to say thanks to.

Faiza, who blogs at It's Gonna Be a Lovely Day, recently did a guest post over at The Perfect Compilation Tape about 5 things she is grateful for. In it, she challenged readers to join in. And so I am, and I am forwarding the challenge on to you.

1) Okay. This might sound random, but when I hear "what are you grateful for" I immediately think of toilets and running water. I'll explain so you don't think I am just gross. The summer before I entered 4th grade I accompanied my family to Guatemala. We were going with several doctors who were treating villagers up way way way up in the mountains. They were so far removed from the rest of civilization, that a car could only get you to the bottom of the mountain and then you had to hike up to the top, where their village was located. Seriously - they grew corn and tobacco on the side of the mountain and they had to tie themselves to trees as they harvested with machetes as to keep from falling down, that's how steep it was. They did not speak Spanish, but an old Native language derived from the Mayans. So they required one translator to translate from Mayan to Spanish. Then my mom and sister would translate from Spanish to English for the doctors. And I, well, I played with the kids. We would draw in the dirt or play soccer or do each others hair. Anyways, I'm beginning to digress. Way up in the mountains there was no running water and no toilets. When our plane landed back in the U.S. I was so excited about how clean and luxurious the airport restrooms were. I try and remember that. Even the smallest of things that most of us take for granted are totally worth appreciation.

2) Having a big family that I see regularly. I have 14 aunts and uncles, 4 great aunts and uncles, 13 cousins (15 before 2 died), 2 grandparents, 3 siblings, 11 nieces and nephews. I know all of them well. I've seen all of them fairly regularly throughout my life. We send each other emails, letters, facebook messages, and phone calls pretty often. Even though we don't all see eye-to-eye or get along well, we know each other. It amazes me when families don't know each other... like my husband. Now that he married me, his aunts and uncles hear more from us! And I'm his grandmother's favorite thing! And that makes me very proud and grateful. I just got off the phone with one of my aunts... it got me thinking how lucky I am!

3) I can't mention a family without saying I am just so grateful for my beloved Husband. I could go on and on gushing about him, but lets sum it up by saying I think he is the best thing and I am very lucky.

4) Having a job that gives me the sense of giving back. I love working in the mental health field. Yes, it is draining. Yes, it is hard. But oh, it is so rewarding too. On Monday I was working with the kiddos. They have a range of developmental disabilities. Sometimes it is hard to cater to all their participation levels. During a lull in the physical recreation period on Monday, many of the kiddos who are non verbal and utilize wheelchairs were just sitting to the side of the basketball court. I got their staff and my participants to start a game of Duck, Duck, Goose. Pretty soon the majority of the kids were playing, regardless of their cognitive abilities and/or disabilities. Staff helped some. Kiddos with some advantages in the game helped out with the ones who moving a bit slower or having a hard time following the concept. Everyone was giggling. And no one was left out. My heart swells. I love it. I am so lucky to be in this line of work!

5) Free things. I just got a pretty cool coffee table that needs only a touch of TLC to be awesome again. I got it from the curb down the street. And I won a give away hosted by Kat today! This seems silly, but it makes me so excited. I can't wait to don on my apron. You know, for all the cooking and baking I do, I have never owned an apron! And I need it, because I'm a hot mess in the kitchen. Particularly if flour is involved.

Some other bloggers I adore also participated. Check out what Claire, Micaela, and Marz had to say thanks for!

So, tell me, what are you grateful for?

Have heart!

Today I worked with a particularly trying individual. She has a way of making everything an argument. If a song comes on the radio and you sing along, she lets you know "(she is) the only singer in the car." If you say you like a song, she tells you "You don't know this song, only I do." If you change the subject because apparently the radio is testy grounds... well, you are still wrong, and she is right. You stop talking. She continues to argue with you about everything and anything that pops in her mind. You reflect or repeat some of what she is saying. Even if you repeat in exact phrases, because it is coming out of your mouth, it is wrong. You go quiet. She tells you she hates the quiet and you are rude for not talking.

Even though you don't know this participant (it would be totally against confidentiality for me to tell you who she was even if you did), I'm sure you know someone like her. Hell, I could even be talking about my MIL right now!

Their behavior becomes so frustrating that it is hard to find anything positive about the individual. Deep down inside of you is the belief that they are essentially good people. Deep down you know that they have some wonderful traits - and some of these traits are pretty evident. But on the surface, you just want to wring their necks.

And you can't just wring their necks (particularly if this person is a consumer you are paid to care for).

But if we paused and stepped back, we would see that beneath these prickly irritating behaviors are some really great traits that make this person lovable and fun to be around.

The participant today is silly and loves to laugh. Even though she doesn't have a good voice, she gets so into character when she sings along to the radio that it is an absolute joy to hear. Pink is her favorite color and she has pink nail polish, pink clothes, and even a pink bowling ball (today we went bowling in the morning). She is very fond of her brothers. She enjoys making artistic frames for the pictures of celebrities that she carries around with her everywhere. She can walk, change clothes, and use the restroom without assistance (I am always grateful when my participants are fairly independent).

By the end of my shift I had forgotten all these things.

Sometimes with those individuals who frustrate us most, we just need to take a moment to find a way to reconnect rather than continue to wish for more distance from them.

I also think that sometimes that is what they need too. Maybe then some of the hard shell will fall away and they will appear to soften.

If you look hard enough, there are always qualities to love. Some individuals might be more challenging - but if we think of it as an act of love, isn't the hunt part of the fun?!

See everyone as a brand new challenge to fall in love.

Its like the Tonglen Practice. I really suggest you read more about that at this link, written by Pema Chodron. By showing others love, you are also showing yourself love. And at the end of dealing with these individuals, maybe you won't feel so tired, cranky, or beat up. And maybe, you will even have fun together!

So, have heart!

(all photos from Flikr.com)

26 (plus 1) songs for 26 years.

This week's Perspectives is brought to you from Chelsea! She came up with the idea for us to compare the soundtrack of our lives.... one song for each year.

(I was born)1984. This would probably be the lullaby my mom came up with to sing to me. She made it rhyme with my name!

(1) '85. C is for Cookie by the Cookie Monster on Sesame Street. Cookie Monster still makes me smile to this day - he and The Count were my favorite!

(2) '86. Everybody Wants to be a Cat from Disney's Aristocats. One of my favorite Disney movies. Although, I admit, I like a lot of them.

(3) '87. Do-Re-Mi from Sound of Music. I was quite the little singer as a kid. I was always humming a tune, and I loved children's musicals. The Sound of Music was often watched.

(4) '88. A Spoonful of Sugar by Mary Poppins (and yes I say it like Mary Poppins is a real person, please don't ruin my delusional wishful thinking!)... another childhood musical favorite. I think I sang this while I did chores... and while I did my siblings chores for money :)

(5) '89. I've Got The Joy, Joy, Joy Joy Down in My Heart. Church songs anyone? When I was 4, my mom remarried a man she met at a new church. He "taught" our family his religious believes and was pretty extreme. Which is why most of the songs I knew at the time were either from church, were classical (for a while he wouldn't let us listen to that either because it wasn't "Christian" but eventually somehow we got away with it), or from a movie (I grew up without TV). In retrospect, I'm surprised he was okay with Disney. Anyways... I went to church 3 or more times a week and did a lot of my singing there! (Hopefully, this doesn't offend anyone. Obviously this individual man was just a bit extreme in his believes, which is ironic if you actually knew anything about what he was really like).

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(6) 1990. Beethoven's Fur Elise. I grew up listening to a lot of classical music. And this song has always struck a chord in my soul. It is beautiful and passionate. And I won't ever outgrow it.

(7) '91. Be our Guest in Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I went to see this movie with my two older sisters in the movie theater. At the scene where the Beast "dies" I started to cry. My sister tried to reassure me by saying "It's okay; the Beast turns into the Prince." Still sobbing, I replied "What good is a dead Prince?!". She was a very good sister - so I don't think she laughed at me at the time... but it makes us all giggle now.

(8) '92. 16 Waltzes by Brahms. Again, a great classical composer. What little girl doesn't twirl around her room pretending to be at a ball?

(9) '93. I Saw the Sign by Ace of Base. It was summer of '93, and this song was HUGE. Of course, I didn't really know it because I wasn't allowed to listen to pop music (step father was still around) but when my cousins and I went to Busch Gardens, we made a music video to this song. At first I was just mouthing "watermelon, watermelon, watermelon," but thankfully the song is really repetitive and eventually I got the lyrics down! These days the song makes me giggle and is a total guilty pleasure. And I'm sure the video is still floating around somewhere, although I don't think anyone has a VCR to watch it with!

(10) '94. Think of Me from Phantom in the Opera. I think I was 10 when I started taking voice lessons for singing. Mom had hopes of me making it to Broadway :) And what Broadway fan doesn't love the Phantom?!

(11) '95. What if I Stumble by DC Talk. Even though I don't listen to much Christian music anymore, DC Talk still has a few songs I really enjoy singing along to from time to time.

(12) '96. Isn't it Ironic by Alanis Morissette. With my step father out of the house, I began to realize that most music probably wouldn't literally send you to hell. My best friend Tashina loved this new release. And anyone who remembers this song, knows that it was all too catching and would get stuck in your head on repeat.

(13) '97. I'm a Barbie Girl by Aqua. I think I was pretty confused as to how this song became so popular, because it is absolutely awful. But I was at the pool pretty much all day every day this summer so I constantly was hearing it on the radio. I guess it is also a good representation of switching from a kid to a young woman (although I wasn't a sluty young woman, so maybe not so much).

(14) '98. Wide Open Spaces by the Dixie Chicks. When my mom and I would do a road trip this CD was always one of the ones in our mix. She and I would sing on the top of our lungs the whole trip. She always said she was my back up singer.

(15) '99. I think this was the year I was on a traveling soccer team named the Revolution. Some of the parents thought it was a great idea to play the song by the Beatles on repeat, no matter which state we were playing in. So this song always reminds me of soccer and the lifestyle that goes with it once you start to play competitively. I also heard a lot of Sweet Home Alabama, but for some reason that seemed limited to the high school games.

(16) 2000. Born on the Bayou by Creedence Clearwater Revival. My mom and I agreed to most of the classic rock and southern rock bands... so that's what was on most at our house then. I also had Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter on my playlist during the summer - it was a good song to go with summer dating and being almost 17.

(17) '01. Only Time by Enya and Angel by Sarah McLachlan. After 9/11 these two songs were mash ups with press releases from the day. Having family that worked in the Twin Towers and some military friends who worked at the Pentagon... this day was truly terrifying and memorable.

(18) '02. In 2001 I started dating a boy who was really into progressive rock and metal. By 2002, he had converted me. Metallica, Tool, King Crimson, and Dream Theater were always playing in the background. In '02 I started seeing Dream Theater in concert at least once every year. Images and Words is still one of my favorite releases... and the song Wait for Sleep has particular meaning to me.

(19) '03. My cousin committed suicide this year, and Fade To Black by Metallica always makes me think of him. A year or two before, I had taken him to Metallica's Summer Sanitarium.

(20) '04. Mad World by Gary Jules. It was a hard sleepless year. When I couldn't sleep I would walk miles and miles. Some nights a friend might join me if they were still awake, but if I was on my own, I'd have my iPod ready and Mad World was the first song to keep me company while I contemplated.

(21) '05. Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani. My 21st birthday meant going out with the girls and going dancing! So while there were a lot of pop songs played at the clubs, Hollaback Girl was by far the one that was the most annoying and yet catching. I couldn't help but sing along. This shit really is B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

(22) '06. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. When DH and I first started hanging out together, we would laze around listening to this song. In no time, it became our song. When we got married in '08 it was the song we danced to for our first dance. And even now, if I hear it on the radio, I'll call him right away to say I love you.

(23) '07. Stronger by Kanye West. 2007 held a lot of challenges for me. I was really sick, my school work was doubled after having to take a leave of absence due to hospitalization, I was dealing with a professor who had a real issue with me personally, and I was dealing with two stalkers (one was an infatuated guy, who was threatening suicide if I didn't return his love, and another was my DH's crazy ex who seriously had it out for me!). Needless to say, I hummed the Daft Punk part of the song to myself a whole hell of a lot to get through the year!

Watch this video for a really cool Daft Punk tribute (watch it to the end... they speed up and get better as it goes on!):

(24) '08. Canon in D by Pachelbel. I got married!!!! My DH and I both have relatives and fond memories in Cape Cod. And even though we were both raised in VA and our parents were from different states, our parents were married in Cape Cod. We decided to follow in tradition and got married in the chapel his parents were married in (my parents were Catholic, so we couldn't use their church). It was GORGEOUS and made the day all the more special.

(25) '09. Lady Gaga - um, I can't pick just one of her songs. And then also Train's Soul Sister - because my sister that has since disowned me for calling Child Protective Services had said this song's unofficial video reminded her of me and that I was her soul sister. She said this before getting the call from CPS and it is one of the last conversations we had. Even though she has chosen to disown me, she will always be my soul sister, and I will always love her regardless of her poor choices.

(26) '10. Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden. We were so excited to see Dream Theater and Iron Maiden in concert together. Run to the Hills has to be the best Maiden song of all time - and yet they failed to play it in concert. Bummer. But still... Amazing concert. Plus I listened to Maiden a lot this year while I worked on an art piece about being in chronic pain... which I visualize as very monstrous. And who better to listen to when you are portraying a monster than a band that created their very own monster?!

Don't forget to stop by the blogs of Chelsea, Donica, Jessica, and Taylor for their Perspectives!

And a give away is still going on! Please follow this link to the post if you are so inclined!

Post Secret Sunday

This week's Post Secret a couple of cards caught my eye, but particularly this one. I love to plan, but I also like to just jump right in. I need the reminder to pause, and read directions, and maybe I would then feel a little more on top of things.

Fashion Friday: My old costume design plates

So as you can imagine, Fashion Friday, began because, well, I love fashion... obviously.

But did you know, that before I had come across the field of art therapy, or even knew what it was, I was in school trying to decide between the medical field or fashion design? I started my costume classes the very first semester of college. And here are some of the results:

My very first costume design, King Edward IV

Then a design for my first play, Antigone. This dress is for Antigone's sister, Ismene.

Then I designed for an Italian opera

There were several other design assignments. And the play and opera had pieces for many of the other characters as well, these were just my favorites from each.

The final assignment for the class was to design for the entire cast of Pippin. I chose to make Pippin a sort of nightmare, and was very inspired by John Galliano, so they had painted skin and outlandish costumes. Here are a few favorites from Pippin:

The next semester I designed several more pieces. Including one inspire by a Miro painting:

and then I designed the cast from the play Volpone. However I did switch all the male roles to female ones and vice versa... I came up with a justification, but really it was just because women's wear is so much more fun to design! I need to take more pictures from this group, because these designs are really random selections from the play.

Hopefully you enjoyed this little tangent about how it all got started, and the trip down memory lane! Happy Friday

Perspectives: Week 4: Archetypes

This week's Perspectives post is on the topic of Archetypes.

Chelsea and Donica know far more about the subject than I do. It has been on my "I need to research this..." list and I've just been more focused on some other things thus far.

However, even though it has been a long time since I've read it, and I've been meaning to re-read it to become more acquainted with my current goddesses, I really enjoy the goddess archetypes laid out in the book "Goddesses in Every Woman" by Dr. Jean S. Bolen.

Bolen explains that multiple goddesses are in every woman, but that there are usually a few dominants. Mine include Athena and Demeter. These at times seem in contradiction, which is very reflective of how I feel I walk the line between two sides. Some of the qualities that I really feel aligned with are:

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Athena:

practicality and constant planning, productive, a competitive edge, "one of the guys," and entering the world as an adult - so that she is often placed in the "mature" role when conflict arises, and having a sense of emotional armor (although lately that armor has cracked and may be on its way out). Wives with Athena's presence often work side by side with their husbands as equals.

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Demeter:

is the mother figure. This is probably my strongest goddess archetype. I am very maternal. My nieces and nephews see me more as a second mom than as an aunt. My friends know that I have a "mama bear" that will be loyal and protective over them. I enjoy nourishing others. I've always known I'll be a mom. And I've always known that I will take in children who are not biologically mine. As a kid, I played "orphan train" with my dolls, where I cared for all the orphan children and took them in as my own. My husband and I have had multiple conversations about the adoptions we will have. And if we are not able to conceive naturally as well, then we will probably be foster parents to older children before adopting any babies. I've nannied for multiple families becoming a strong matriarch in their family system. I've stepped in when witnessing abuse - of children, adults, and pets. I take on the role of protector. Demeter is also known as "food provider" and considering my friends called me the "fat Italian grandmother" because I was always cooking for them... this feels like a fit too.

I also feel the strong pull of the animus, or masculine side. I find that I like being "one of the guys" and still "girly". I like walking the line here too. For me, androgyny is a good thing and I am often put off by individuals who only recognize their masculine or feminine traits... I like a fine balance of the two!

I'm sure there are many other archetypes that I could go into. Donica and Chelsea have been researching their prominent 12. But like I said, it's on my "I need to do this but I haven't yet" list.

I had wanted to do art around at least two of my more dominant archetypes, but I've been busy and distracted making these instead:

these two collages are for my 6X6 blog swap... I'll post pictures of the ones I received soon.

Then this is a box I made that will soon be filled up with goodies for a friend:

the gold is the top of the box, and this is the inside:

and a detail:

Then I made some ATCs for a Broken Face ATC swap. We were supposed to find different face parts and use them in an ATC...

And then a couple of collages for a friend who has been in my thoughts.

More than likely, this post will be the fire under my butt that gets me to sit down with Bolen's book, the book Donica and Chelsea keep referencing, Caroline Myss' "Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential", and of course Joseph Campbell's work, and really re-examine archetypes in my life.

And don't forget to check out the other Perspectives posts at

Chelsea

Donica

Jessica

and Taylor's blogs!